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Posts Tagged ‘not enough time’

Not enough of me to go around!

15 May

Life has really picked up steam for me the past few months (fortunately it is mostly for good reasons) and even more than usual I find myself feeling like there is not enough time or energy in the day to do everything that I want and need to do every day. If anyone out there has the secret to how I can become SuperGirl (which would be my first choice) or how to clone myself as many times as I want at will I would greatly appreciate it if you could share the secret with me. I promise that I will do my utmost best to repay you for the information that will change my life.

My adorable little man, who turned 5 earlier this year, is almost done with his first year of school, 4K, and I can not believe that the time has gone by so quickly!! I am not sure I am ready for him to be one summer break, and for more than one reason. Not only am I struggling to believe that my son has grown up so quickly, but truth be told I am not ready for the weekly daycare bill to double. (I am honestly thinking that I am going to have to find a 3rd part time job in order to be able to pay for it and all the other bills that life likes to throw at us. I really hope that doesn’t become necessary.)

My relationship with BD is still going strong and as a matter of everyday brings us closer to the time when BD and my son will actually be able to meet. I am still not sure what we are going to be doing on the day that they meet, but my hope is that we will be able to spend most of, if not the whole, day together. BD and I have been talking about all the different things that we could potentially do, a process only made more difficult by the fact that they will finally be able to meet this summer. We certainly do not suffer from a lack of choices.

Work, at both jobs, is going really well so far and without knowing what the future holds I think things are headed in a really great direction. For the time being I still only have 2 part time jobs, but I wasn’t kidding earlier when I said that I am considering the possibility of needing to get another part time job something that I can honestly say I am REALLY hoping that it won’t be necessary.

6 months ago my life felt crazy and overwhelming and if you had asked me then if I thought that my life would get even more crazy I would have told you that I was sure that it was possible, but that I would be hard pressed to tell you what would happen to make things even more crazy. I would have also stated that I already felt like there needed to be more of me and I didn’t know how I would be able to deal with things being more complicated. Now that my life has had so many positive things come into it, meeting BD and starting this amazing relationship with him being the biggest and most wonderful complication that I never would have imagined being at the top of the list I can say without any hesitation there is not enough of me to go around!

 
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So Much So Little

20 Mar

I have said it before and I will say it again and again and again in the time and years to come. There are SO many things that I want to do and SO little time to be able to do all those things that I really want to do. I love knitting, counted cross stitch, letter writing, cooking, movies, writing in my blog and so many other things. I have about a hundred different knitting projects that I want to try, at least 5 or 6 different counted cross stitch patterns that I REALLY want to make, I don’t get to write letters to friends and family like I used to (hell I don’t even get to email people half the time), I enjoy cooking, but I don’t have a lot of time, space, money or energy to cook and when I do it is usually for many more people that just my son and myself (it is really difficult to cook for just the two of us), I would love to have more time to work on this blog and making it the kind of blog that I want and to some degree need it to be.

I could go on and on about all the the things that I want to do, but I can’t and shouldn’t forget all of the things that I am already doing and already trying to find time to work on. I had a moment this morning where I thought and even said to my friend Kamria that I am probably trying to do too much because on top of and before everything else in my world there is my son. From the moment I found out I was pregnant what is best for him has always been my first and foremost concern. As sad as it would make me I would drop everything that I enjoy doing if that is what I needed to do for my son. I do have concerns about failing my son either because I am doing too much or not doing enough. One of my biggest fears is that I will fail him. I addressed all of this and more in my previous blog entry of Super Mom or Super Bomb (if you haven’t read that entry I hope you will check it out). Honestly, how am I ever going to do all the things that I need to do and still be able to do all the things that I really want to do.

I am a firm believer in multitasking and I think I am generally a pretty good multitasker, but you can only multitask so many things at a time, unless you have more than 1 pair of arms or the ability to clone yourself at will and if anyone out there knows how to start cloning yourself at will I would appreciate your willingness to teach me that skill. My ability to multitask is definitely being tested now that I am a single mother and I am going to have to continue to develop that ability if I am going to have any chance to be able to do the things that I need to do, let alone the ones that I really want to do. Regardless of how strong my multitasking skills become I have no doubt that forever and always I will feel like there is SO much to do and SO little time to do it in.