One night before bed in the early Fall of 2013 my husband, a man whom I have loved for going on 16 years, told me that just a few nights before he had allowed himself to get drunk and in doing so to have sexual contact with another woman. (His only regret being that none of it had happened while he and the other woman were sober and therefore capable of doing more.) It was difficult to hear, to accept, to know how to react and so on. I spent, as one would imagine, the next few days trying to figure out what to do next. In the end I decided that despite my hurt and anger that I still loved this man who I had devoted my life and love to and wanted to try to save my marriage. I stated my desires and intentions to my husband only to be informed that he had decided he wanted a separation and most likely a divorce. My pain, anger, fear and desperation only doubled with this newest revelation.
All of this happening within a couple of months of my husband requesting that we start trying to get pregnant with our second child and having actually starting to try!
Eventually I stopped fighting against what he was forcing on me, and our young son, since my wants and desires were of no importance and no longer mattered to him.
This blog, which in most cases will generally be written in letter format, is intended to help me come to terms with what I am currently going through (not just the separation, impending divorce, but also the fact that I am now a single mother), make sense of what I am feeling, coming to terms with a situation that has been painfully and callously forced on me and, hopefully in the long run, even move on.