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Posts Tagged ‘difficult year’

All I gotta say is what the fuck was that?!?

17 Nov

It has been a long, stressful, trying, exhausting, complicated, overwhelming, and so on year. I seriously feel like I have been jumping from one fire to the next with no hope of rescue in sight. As a result when I finally do get a chance to catch my breath I really don’t feel like writing, which believe it or not is actually quite frustrating, but would much rather forget about everything that is goin on and lose myself in a movie/TV show while doing some knitting or something.

I really don’t want to go down the list of all the things that have happened this year because I just want it to all be over, and between you and me I have be over 2018 since February. The fact that I have survived and survived without killing or maiming someone is a fraking miracle. That’s not to say that it has all been bad, there have been several things that have added a little brightness to the year, but honestly those have been few and far between.

I have never really been one for making New Year’s Resolutions and while we still have time before the year officially ends I can honestly say that right now I hold out absolutely no hope for next year to be any better than this one has been. As a matter of fact I fear that next year may be worse because 9 times out of 10 things always get darker than you think they can before even the smallest amount of light can be seen. I am sure that there are some of you out there who are thinking that I am being really negative, but I am not. I am a realist and as such I realize that most problems that problems take 2 or 3 times longer to work your way out of then it does for them to happen. As a result I am just buckling in for the ride and trying to work my way through. (Plus I would much rather expect and prepare for the worst and end up being pleasantly surprised if I was wrong than to not be prepared and drowning.)

This entry was never meant to be a long one, so I will end it with a picture sent to me by a very good friend of mine that perfectly encapsulates how this year has left me feeling.

image_267435_19700118_142753.jpg

 
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Posted in General, Wonders & Ramblings

 

Worst Past – Best Future

29 Dec

I am not ready for the new year. This past year, like most, has had it’s mixture of good and bad and all kinds of stress. The future is always full of uncertainty and 2017 will likely be more of the same and I am not at all ready for it.

Of course with the coming new year most people are probably thinking about what their New Year’s Resolutions are going to be, but I haven’t made New Year’s Resolutions in a long time and honestly I don’t really see the point. Yes, there are things about myself that I would like to change — basically the stereotypical type things like wanting to be in better shape, wanting to make more time for all the hobbies that I want to work on, etc — there are things that I would like to work on and so forth, but honestly I don’t have the willpower/determination to really put the kind of effort that these resolutions would need to be completely and truly successful. I am sure that there are some people out there are who are reading that and thinking “Well that’s a really negative way to look at things.” or “You’re giving up before you even try!”, but I am just being honest and realistic and that honesty and realism is based on many years of experiencing lack of success due to my lack of willpower/determination. Everyone makes their New Year’s Resolutions with good intentions and I suppose that should count for something, but if more people were honest with themselves they would probably find them quite pointless.

It’s hard not too think ahead when you realize that another year is about to start, but I have been trying not too. There are too many things that are coming up this year that I am already apprehensive about, so I am really trying NOT to think about the future and all the ways that 2017 could go so terribly wrong. There are enough things in the here and now for me to get stressed over that I don’t need to be overthinking the future and what it might hold in store for me. Of course the flip side of not thinking about the future in order to avoid dwelling on the negative that I don’t really get to spend much time thinking of all the positive things that could happen and that I would like to have happen in the coming year.

I will say that 2016 was at least better than 2013, 2014 and 2015, so that is something and hopefully this upward trend will continue into the new year. For those of you out there that are struggling hang in there. As difficult as it is, and believe me I know just how difficult it can be, do your best. Take things 1 second at a time if you have to. I can’t count how many days I had to do just that in order to make it through the day. I know that you can make it and I want you to know that my wish for you is this: May the worst of your past be the best of your future.

 
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Posted in Wonders & Ramblings